oo  
   getting the 
   MOST 
    Out of  
   couples 
  counseling 
          Intro 
          Many couples find counseling helpful in improving their relationship. 
          Whether you are considering couples therapy, or have already started, 
          the information and tips included in this booklet will inform you on what to 
          expect during counseling sessions, help you clarify goals for counseling, 
          and to give some suggestions to get the most out of couples counseling. 
                      Contents 
                               WHERE TO START                    05 
                               GROUND RULES                      09 
                               WHAT TO EXPECT                    11 
                               OUR APPROACH                      13 
                               COMMUNICATION                     15 
                               WALK THE TALK                     17  
                               KEEP MOVING                       19 
                                           Individual, Marriage, and Family  Enrichment      3 
      The Authors 
                  JEREMY DUKE  MA, LPC 
                   I have been providing counseling since 
                   1997. My interest in couples counseling 
                   began with families affected by drug and 
                   alcohol addictions and has since 
                   expanded to marriage enrichment, 
                   positive parenting, and personal growth.  I 
                   received a Master’s Degree in Counseling 
                   Psychology from the University of 
       Missouri in 1997. I have three children and have been married for 
       more than twenty years.  
      BRIAN BOWLES  PhD, LPC 
       I enjoy working collaboratively to identify  
       and resolve the obstacles getting in the  
       way of creating the relationship you and  
       your partner desire. I think that what  
       brings you into counseling can, with work  
       and time, often be the starting point to a healthier, more loving 
       relationship.  I received a PhD in Philosophy from Loyola 
       University and a Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology from 
       Stephens College.  I have been married for more than fifteen 
       years and have two children.   
                       Individual, Marriage, and Family  Enrichment      4 
      Where to Start 
             any difficulties may bring a person to seek couples  
             counseling:  infidelity, lack of intimacy, escalating 
             conflicts, poor communication, drug and alcohol 
     M 
             addiction, or a sense that while you love each other, 
             you are not in love anymore. 
              
             Surprisingly, the typical couple waits an average of  
             six years before consulting a counselor for help.  In 
             that time relationship patterns often become deeply 
             ingrained.  
              
             There may be a singular, overwhelming problem that 
             has led you to seek counseling, or there may be a list 
             of problems that need to be addressed. Sometimes it 
             is hard to know where to start.   
              
            THE INITIAL GOAL OF COUPLES COUNSELING  
        IS TO RESOLVE THE CURRENT CRISIS. THIS IS FOLLOWED BY  
          ADDRESSING UNDERLYING RELATIONSHIP PATTERNS,  
        COMMUNICATION DIFFICULTIES, AND OTHER MORE DEEPLY 
                   ROOTED ISSUES.   
                       Individual, Marriage, and Family  Enrichment      5