Strong Bonds Fact Sheet:
             Working with Young People : Reframing Feelings About Family
             The way people perceive an experience or problem influences the possible solutions or options they 
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             see for change. Reframing involves presenting an alternative possible explanation, interpretation or 
             perception of an experience. This new interpretation may then facilitate positive change. 
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             Reframing goes beyond reflective listening , as it presents back to the client what is said in a way 
             which deepens understanding about the event or problem, and creates possibilities for new ways to 
             respond to the issues being discussed.
             This approach helps a client create, via their perceptions, a reality in which they may operate more 
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             effectively and positively.  For example, where a young person has been described by an adult as 
             unruly or unmanageable, a reframe may suggest the young person is ‘independent’ or  
             ‘strong-willed.’ 
             Reframing requires a certain amount of reflective listening and rapport prior to use. It takes place in 
             the context of a conversation about a problem or difficult experience and gently confronts the young 
             person’s assumptions and interpretations, without provoking defensiveness. 
             Reframing needs to be used with care, so that feelings and experiences are not minimised or 
             ignored; it needs to fit with the client’s value system, so that their experience and hopes are 
             honoured. 
             Black and White Thinking                                          language used by the young person. It further encourages 
                 Black and white thinking is common, and is particularly       the young person to respect others needs in a shared 
             present in adolescents whose cognitive development has not        household, to consider positive solutions and to assert their 
             yet reached an adult stage. This way of thinking, perceiving      own wishes and needs within the household. 
             and expressing thoughts involves using extreme language, 
             and is often negative and blaming towards self or other.          Strengths-Based and Narrative  
                 Black & white thinking may lead to unhelpful perceptions      Therapeutic Approaches
             about people, such as family members, which can build                 These approaches offer effective techniques and 
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             distance and resentment rather than understanding and             questions for reframing. McCashen (1998)  recommends 
             compromise.                                                       the following practice principles in order to implement a 
                 An example to illustrate this is a young person who says      strengths-based approach in your work: 
             their mum is “always on my back”. Reframing in this situation     – Respect for peoples’ intrinsic worth, rights, capacities, 
             may involve:                                                          uniqueness & commonalities
                Asking: “What does she do that makes it seem like she          – Sharing of information, knowledge, resources, skills and 
                is “always on your back”?”                                         decision making
                Clarifying: “So she tells you a lot, to tell her where you     – Collaboration: team work, partnership, consultation and 
                are going? How often do you think she would say that               inclusion
                to you in one day or one week?” 
                Reframing: “Once a day? So it’s not all the time? Sounds       – Social Justice: equity, access, equality, participation, self 
                like she cares about you and your safety. What would               determination
                help you both to feel okay about this?”
                                                                               – Transparency: having things out in the open, open 
                                                                                   information and communication 
                 This reframe enables a young person to perceive a 
             different and more positive reality about why their mother            Strengths-based questions seek to draw out an 
             is behaving in the way she is, and challenges the extreme         alternative perception or explanation of behaviour or an 
             1. Fuller, A. (1998) From Surviving to Thriving, ACER: Melbourne
             2.  Reflective listening, as a counselling technique, involves repeating back what has been said using different words, to demonstrate you have heard and understand the 
               content and feelings expressed. This shows empathy and builds rapport and trust. 
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             3. Becvar, D. and Becvar, R. (2002). Family Therapy: A Systemic Integration. Pearson Education Australia.
             4. McCashen, W. (1998) The Strengths Approach: A strengths-based resource for sharing power and creating change. Bendigo: St Lukes Innovative Resources
             Working with Young People : Reframing Feelings About Family
             event, which helps the young person to identify and believe          For example, reframing issues concerning family may 
             in their own or other family members’ successes, skills,          enable a young person to identify their resilience, and see 
             strengths and abilities.                                          positive skills and knowledge that they have learned from 
                 Using this approach involves exploring what has worked        what may be difficult family interactions and relationships. 
             in the past, rather than what has not worked. While both          They may also see what family members may have been 
             negative and positive perceptions are valid, the latter           trying to do for them in the past that was interpreted by them 
             provides a more fertile soil for change, by helping the young     in a negative light. 
             person feel capable, empowered and motivated towards                 For example, a young person may be angry with his 
             change. In contrast the deficit-based, problem-focussed           father, who was drunk a lot and left the young person to 
             approaches of traditional therapies present situations as         cook for himself.  
             requiring work and effort to address the problem and  
             move on.                                                             Empathise and validate: 
                 Narrative questioning provides the opportunity to                “How did that make you feel, that your dad was 
             rewrite the young person’s story or narrative about events           focussed on drinking alcohol and not on meeting your 
             or experiences in a more positive light. It recognises and           needs as a hungry child?” 
             respects that young people and families may have endured             “I can understand that you would feel angry and sad 
             many hardships. This approach avoids pathologising, ie.              about that.” 
             use of medical and psychological terms which indicate                “How did you manage to know how to cook and to look 
             dysfunction, deficit or failure.                                     after yourself?” 
                                                                                  “Are there other times when you have managed to 
                 Instead, it assists young people to view themselves              work things out for yourself?”
             and their family as skilled, capable and resourceful. 
             One technique used in this approach involve ‘identifying             Reframe: 
             exceptions to the rule’ - when problems weren’t present, or          “Do you think your dad thought he was providing for 
             when things were better, so that these experiences can be            you in other ways, such as working to pay the bills?”
             emphasised and learnt from.                                          “Do you think he knew that his drinking was stopping 
                                                                                  him from being the father you would have liked?”
             What if there’s nothing positive?                                    “That’s disappointing that he did not look after all your 
                                                                                  needs as a child, but were there other ways in which he 
                 Some parents behave in ways that don’t lend themselves           was an alright father?”
             to reframing. An abused child, for example, needs to know            “Because your dad was not looking after all your needs, 
             that the behaviour is wrong, and that it was not their fault. In     were there any things you learned or skills you devel-
             working with these young people it may help to emphasise             oped as a result?”
             their survival skills (rather than having a ‘victim’ focus) and to 
             help them to identify the positive coping strategies that they    Reframing with other family members 
             used to deal with this difficult situation.
                                                                                  Reframing ideally takes place with other family members 
                 Other parents do not always behave in ways which help         as well as with the young person. This maximises the effect 
             to build their young person’s self-esteem. In these cases it is   of the reframes and enable changes to perceptions, stories 
             important to validate experiences for the young person, and       and attitudes at the level of the family system, not just within 
             identify behaviours which have been unhelpful.                    an individual. 
                 In situations where a young person’s safety is 
             guaranteed, talking about parenting behaviour can be done 
             in a realistic and non-blaming way that acknowledges some 
             parents don’t get it right all the time.
                 It is also helpful for the young person to understand                            Ideas from this Help Sheet
             their parents’ behaviour in a broader context. For example, 
             thinking about where they learnt that behaviour from, or                – Reframing involves presenting an alternative 
             what their experience was like as a child. This may help a                 possible explanation, interpretation or perception of 
             young person realise it is not their fault, or that the behaviour          an experience.
             was not a response to them personally.                                  – Use reflective listening to validate feelings and 
                 When using these approaches, it is very important to not               experiences and build rapport prior to using 
             minimise the pain or unfairness of particular experiences, but             reframing techniques. 
             to empathise and validate feelings, to offer new language               – Reframe in a way which respects their perceptions 
             which may be less extreme (if appropriate), and to invite the              and values, while offering a new perspective and 
             young person to hold additional ideas and views about the                  possible solutions. 
             experiences (reframe). 
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                 Working with Young People : Reframing Feelings About Family
                                                                                                                          Related Help Sheets
                                                                                                          Worker Help Sheets 
                                                                                                          – Dealing with “Black and White Thinking”
                                                                                                          – Discussing Family
                                                                                                          – Improving Family Relations
                                                                                                          – Family Dynamics 
                                                                                                          Parent Help Sheets 
                                                                                                          – Family Dynamics
                                                                                                          – Dealing with Past Hurts and Traumas
                                                                                                          – Building our Relationship
                                                                                                          – Improving Communication
                                                                                                                          Suggested Reading
                                                                                                          – McCashen W., (2006) The Strengths Approach, 
                                                                                                              Innovative Resources, Australia.
                                                                                                          – Geldard, D. & Geldard, K. (2005) Basic Personal 
                                                                                                              Counselling: a training manual for counsellors, 
                                                                                                              Pearson/Prentice Hall, Austrialia.
                                                                                                          – Fuller, A., (1998) From Surviving to Thriving: 
                                                                                                              Promoting Mental Health in Young People, ACER, 
                                                                                                              Melbourne.
                                                                                                             Strong Bonds
                                                                                                             Jesuit Social Services
                                                                                                             PO Box 1141
                                                                                                             Collingwood Victoria 3066
                                                                                                             Tel           (03) 9415 8700
                                                                                                             Email         info@strongbonds.jss.org.au
                                                                                                             Web           www.strongbonds.jss.org.au